Step 9 AA: When to Make Amends and When Not to FHE Health

A “living” solution is one that we practice in our wider lives, such as avoiding the temptations of manipulation and behaviors that harm others. For example, if you neglected or mistreated your children while you were using alcohol, a simple apology may not repair the damage. Instead, you may need to engage in a dialogue with them over time. This may involve attending family therapy or individual therapy. You will need to demonstrate that you are committed to rebuilding trust and repairing your relationship with them.

  • The guilt may have been real, but the apology didn’t come with lasting change.
  • It would be nice if the above outcomes were universal—but they aren’t (of course).
  • In some situations, attempting to make amends may cause more harm than good.
  • We strengthen and reinforce healthy recovery whenever we do our part to repair relationships or reach out to others with support and understanding.
  • Your goal is not just to stop drinking, but also to change from the inside out.
  • By proactively correcting previous mistakes, those in recovery may be able to prevent future conflicts that could trigger a relapse.

The Twelve Steps

Through mutual support groups like Alcoholics Anonymous, members learn and practice these spiritual steps and principles, with a view to staying sober and helping others do the same. Other times, we cannot make direct 12-Step amends, such as when the other person has passed away or a business has closed. Personal advice is always helpful when we are trying to judge a situation. But sometimes, we have no choice but to make living amends. If you stole something from someone you cannot reasonably return the item to, you could simply resolve not to steal again from others as part of your long-term recovery goals.

How To Rebuild Relationships

In Twelve Step recovery, your pace is your own to determine. No doubt you will experience challenges and setbacks along the way. But by prioritizing your recovery on a daily basis and doing whatever that next right thing might be for you, you will keep moving forward in living a life of good purpose. No matter how much we feel the need to make things right, forcing another to meet with us or hear from us is not part of the Steps.

Renewal Center for Ongoing Recovery

alcoholics anonymous living amends

Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of people who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from alcoholism. The main purpose and mission of Alcoholics Anonymous members is to stay sober and help others achieve sobriety. So that even when someone has overcome their addiction, they stay within the fellowship and help others overcome their addiction, and this also keeps them from relapsing. Recognize and acknowledge your behaviors that caused harm to someone else. Surrounded by mountain views, Mountain Springs Recovery offers a variety of treatment approaches and plans tailored to the individual.

alcoholics anonymous living amends

At FHE Health, you’ll learn more about Step 9 and how to handle the worst of experiences. For many, this is one of the most important components of recovery, because it allows them to work on rebuilding their relationships and letting go of those they cannot repair. Our team works closely with you throughout this process to help you achieve your goals in recovery.

  • But as we quickly learn, simple instructions aren’t necessarily easy to execute.
  • Think of amends as actions taken that demonstrate your new way of life in recovery, whereas apologies are basically words.

Family and Children’s Programs

An example would be telling someone how sorry you are that you stole from them and actually giving back what you took. The goal in making amends is “to freely admit the damage we’ve done and make our apologies,” according to The Big Book. In some cases, making amends may mean paying or promising to pay “whatever obligations, financial living amends or otherwise, we owe,” the Big Book also states. Myriad arrests and guilty pleas have resulted from the Sober Home Initiative. Most recently, Kevin M. Dickau, 35, of Tustin, pleaded guilty to conspiracy to commit health care fraud on April 23 and was sentenced to 15 months in prison and three years of supervised release.

alcoholics anonymous living amends

Understanding AA Step 9

Recovery Coaching

  • Mr. Marshall, 36, began a national nine-city Sans Bar tour this past January and plans to expand.
  • Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
  • Sometimes other people need more time to accept an apology.
  • You could donate money to an elderly group or organization.
  • Making amends to my family, and to the families of alcoholics still suffering, will always be important.

Rehab Riviera: Addiction fraud charges filed…

  • You may not be able to rectify “everything” you’ve done to the other person, but you can repair specific wrongs.
  • Once you enter into sobriety, there isn’t a set timeline for working Steps 8 and 9, so you might want to ask your sponsor and recovery support network for their insights about whether you’re ready.
  • Unfortunately, there are many things that we do in our using that we can not rectify with tangible goods or direct amends.
  • Although human relationships will always be complicated, doing our best to repair the damage restores our self-esteem and helps the other person resolve their hurt around the issue.
  • And remember, if you are feeling ashamed about mistakes made and damage done during your using days, you are not your disease.

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